young, wet and bitchy

i wanna walk around in a fucking four thousand dollar suit and call you stupid fucking people stupid fucking assholes for not doing your fucking job. i want you jerks to talk behind my back and label me as a fucking prick, and i want to you damn well know that you have to talk behind my back, behind closed doors, whispering your fucking hurt, because your fucking fear of getting erased off the fucking map keeps you fucking up at night. i want you people to crack jokes and laugh at the size of my supposedly tiny dick, because i want to fuck your wife with said tiny dick. i want your wife to attempt to fake an orgasm on account of my tiny, laughable penis, while i shoot my fat disgusting load inside her and let you retarded employees raise your bastard children that spawned from my hateful cum. your stupid fucking wife will love this eventually because your fucking dick can’t fucking function anymore because my incessant yelling at work has rendered your junk impotent. she also thinks her disgusting whore punani is what’s helping you keep your job, but really you’re the only fucking reason you still have your fucking job and i don’t even fucking remember or care to know who the hell you are, I just know that your fucking wife is now totally fucking begging to blow me every week and none of your kids are yours.

the head of my penis is a beautiful crown of flesh that you secretly worship because you are so gay for me. your hate for me is directly related to envy of my ivy-league looks and suave banter. i will verbally abuse you and you will hate it, and you will bottle that hate up in your little mind to the point where you obsession becomes unhealthy. you will start to have dreams about sucking my cock while I call you a retarded fuck-ass, and then I will proceed to fuck your ass. this is what you think about when you try to fuck your wife, and this is why you can never come inside her. this is why none of your kids are yours, you stupid fucking moron.

i fuck three times a day and six times a night. i fuck women because i hate women. i hate them because i hated that whore of a mother i had. i never knew my father because he was an asshole just like me. and my brothers, they are all over this city. my brothers run this town. we’re all part of the same family, and we fuck your wives, your daughters, your mother, your son, your secretary, and you, only in your wildest homosexual fantasies.

Enjoy your lay, America. Love, - Goldman Sachs

excuse me sir, but i thought i’d tell you that your gook is showing. no worries, just doing a public service.

i liked your shoes. they looked really fucking cute, like the sort of shoes i’d wear to be really ironical with my hipster friends. i want to fuck you, really bad. i haven’t had a good lesbo fuck-fest in a long time (FOUR DAYS), and all i’ve had lately are twiggy, needy nyu girls who are fucking* me to get attention from their friends and family and shit.

* And BTW, we fuck for hours and hours without anyone in the room ever cumming. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

OK, in truth, I have a dick, but I want to love you like only a sexually-confused-man-with-a-twelve-inch-cock-who-wants-to-be-a-transwoman-lesbian-S&M-queen can. Your eyes were probably deceiving you; that wasn’t really me, publicly stroking my ENORMOUS cock in anticipation of BRUTAL ASS-FUCKING on the train, slowly undressing that AmAppa-wearing brunette next to you who was being a total ho (I COULD SEE HER WHOLE BRA WHAT A SKANK). And If I WAS, I was totally merely satisfying my animal needs.

i also want to make it clear to you that your new york is dead. the inaccessible, hidden new york of the 1980s, the city of your youth and prime, is a cumstain on the sidewalk of history. this shitty fucking hellhole is now a gigantic tourist trap, filled wall-to-wall with retarded assholes empowered by their ill-derived, mobsourced iphone knowledge. the internet, wall street, gentrification and your hated breeder friends’ children have raped and pillaged this concrete jungle and turned it into a cum-stained yuppie disneyland.

Listen, milady- when I think about inserting my TWELVE INCH LESBIAN COCK inside your deliciously fantastic elastic vagina-hole, I cum. my mind just explodes in a messy, creamy pool of hypothetical seminal fluid, and i ruin my jordache jeans. so stop being so fucking stuck up, okay. my cock and imaginary vagina are wet for you. lift a leg so i can fuck you with them. kthx.

listen my dear sister, I’m with ya. i know you is proud. i know the way it is, how you was damn near anorexic all you life, wit like little tiny titties all through high school- and you knows you gots it now and you is flauntin. there be curves on this bumpy ride now. i just gotta tell you baby, i appreciate it. i ain’t got no yella feva; i just like my ladies with all the luxurious padding. and i knows you got a heck of a sense of humor too. otherwise you wouldn’t be wearin that crazy pink thing and the fuck-me heels. you dangerous baby. you on da prowl, and you huntin for keep. i know i ain’t your mark, but i just gotta try for it, cause you just wrapped up so good, and ur so fyne. you assassinated my heart, baby. i’ll be waitin on the bus tonight, when we’re sitting across each other on the bus back home, both struck out, let’s comfort each other with some mutually beneficial lovin.

xoxo, creepy fuck-ugly hairy stalker asian guy

because you dirty useless motherfuckers are polluting the internet with garbage, useless trivia about your life and honestly you are a waste of oxygen. all you web 2.0 social media shops, your VCs and your optimistic developers, you guys are fucking asshole enablers. you guys are responsible for this shit. a big old fuck you to you motherfuckers too.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY

i would like to rub my ***** on your ***** and stick my ******** in your ******* and then wrap your ****** in saran wrap and ***** your ***** ***** ****

The world is sick

this week passed like a stinky fart

Vmware sucks ok people don’t do it; it’s a big trap and it’s going to cost you mirrions

I came to the realization tonight that I no longer aspire to be “anyone”.

Let’s leave it like this.